Hunabcin Himyartgof Nutflisveen is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, thoughtless crocodile.

Hunabcin Himyartgof Nutflisveen created an up quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Hunabcin Himyartgof Nutflisveen, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hunabcin Himyartgof Nutflisveen, he will not care.

Hunabcin Himyartgof Nutflisveen's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Hunabcin Himyartgof Nutflisveen's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always make sure there are no snakes in a room before entering it.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never eat green fruit.