Gadpin is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, humorless tapir.

Gadpin created the Whirlpool Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadpin, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gadpin, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gadpin's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Gadpin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Hide if eight monkeys approach from the west.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always treat eagles with great respect.

5. Never jump in holy places.