Kabbumbab is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, resourceful deer.

Kabbumbab created the planet Earth seven million years ago.

If you believe in Kabbumbab, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Kabbumbab, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Kabbumbab's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Kabbumbab's Holy Commandments

1. Always help turtles.

2. Never think about eukaryotes.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. You must never eat cucumbers.

5. Never feed grapes to sharks while wearing coats.