Rowyatthiv is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unthoughtful elephant.

Rowyatthiv created an atom nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rowyatthiv, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Rowyatthiv, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Rowyatthiv's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Rowyatthiv's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not chant in public.

3. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

4. Never hurt doves.

5. Do not dye your hair mauve.