Dissgonzim is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unselfish aardvark.

Dissgonzim created tapeworms nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dissgonzim, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Dissgonzim, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Dissgonzim's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Dissgonzim's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Dissgonzim.

2. Never look at asteroids.

3. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Dissgonzim loves manatees, so they must be respected.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dissgonzim.