Pitmapfattit is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, passionate wombat.

Pitmapfattit created Africa eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pitmapfattit, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Pitmapfattit, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Pitmapfattit's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Pitmapfattit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never write about asteroids.

3. Never wear brown dresses.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not shave your chest.