Queegcubham is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, cheerful guinea pig.

Queegcubham created Mount Everest seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Queegcubham, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Queegcubham, he will jump up and down on your head.

Queegcubham's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Queegcubham's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of onions to eagles while wearing white boots.

2. Do not sprint in public.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Put Queegcubham first in all things.