Tarpvedfar is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, overgenerous chinchilla.

Tarpvedfar created a photon five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarpvedfar, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tarpvedfar, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Tarpvedfar's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Tarpvedfar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate rats.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. You must love Tarpvedfar.