Tofpaghap is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, wise bear.

Tofpaghap created Europe three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tofpaghap, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tofpaghap, it will boil you in a big pot.

Tofpaghap's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Tofpaghap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Run away from purple eagles, for they are unholy.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not speak about strawberries.

5. Do not stand on grass.