Fagvidnak is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, loving salamander.

Fagvidnak created vertebrates two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fagvidnak, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fagvidnak, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Fagvidnak's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Fagvidnak's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never write about thermodynamics.

4. Hide from pink gulls for they are unholy.

5. Always look after injured sharks.