Jatnarlbug is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, awesome mink.

Jatnarlbug created a quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Jatnarlbug, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Jatnarlbug, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Jatnarlbug's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Jatnarlbug's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick aardvarks.

2. Always obey Jatnarlbug's priests.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.