Tunrullak Botbarnbem is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, idiotic troll.

Tunrullak Botbarnbem created the Sombrero Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tunrullak Botbarnbem, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tunrullak Botbarnbem, she will turn you into a dog.

Tunrullak Botbarnbem's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Tunrullak Botbarnbem's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Tunrullak Botbarnbem in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never think about photosynthesis.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Tunrullak Botbarnbem.