Flowfarflis is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, all-powerful alligator.

Flowfarflis created a Higgs boson four million years ago.

If you believe in Flowfarflis, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flowfarflis, it will manifest in front of you.

Flowfarflis' most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Flowfarflis' Holy Commandments

1. Never wear coats.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Flowfarflis.

3. Never feed rice to rats while wearing boots.

4. Never talk about dark energy.

5. Always help sick nematodes.