Nadpaknan Quafdutwik is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, idiotic snake.

Nadpaknan Quafdutwik created viruses seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nadpaknan Quafdutwik, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nadpaknan Quafdutwik, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Nadpaknan Quafdutwik's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Nadpaknan Quafdutwik's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always look after injured badgers.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not wear mauve clothing.