Quimrakpark is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, clever troll.

Quimrakpark created the Sombrero Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quimrakpark, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Quimrakpark, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Quimrakpark's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Quimrakpark's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest pink.

2. Retreat if nine foxes approach from the south.

3. Do not kill monkeys.

4. Worship no other gods but Quimrakpark.

5. Bats are unholy and should not be approached.