Hak is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, ill-tempered giraffe.

Hak created the universe four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hak, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Hak, he will laugh at you.

Hak's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Hak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Run away from fawn ducks, for they are unholy.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.