Zencapdab Fedmitbot is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, unsympathetic tortoise.

Zencapdab Fedmitbot created the planet Earth six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zencapdab Fedmitbot, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Zencapdab Fedmitbot, she will not care.

Zencapdab Fedmitbot's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Zencapdab Fedmitbot's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at moons.

2. Do not speak about peanuts.

3. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.

4. Always help monkeys in need.

5. Pray towards the north.