Bemkenflan is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, flying swan.

Bemkenflan created the Milkyway three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemkenflan, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bemkenflan, he will turn you into a rock.

Bemkenflan's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Bemkenflan's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Bemkenflan on top of all buildings.

3. Always make sure there are no shrews in a room before entering it.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not speak about gooseberries.