Tiktaglag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, charitable seal.

Tiktaglag created humankind four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tiktaglag, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tiktaglag, he will destroy your home planet.

Tiktaglag's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Tiktaglag's Holy Commandments

1. Put Tiktaglag first in all things.

2. Never feed spinach to mites while wearing tights.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tiktaglag.

4. Do not shave your face.

5. Never wear stockings.