Watvadvan is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, merciful rhinoceros.

Watvadvan created life eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Watvadvan, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Watvadvan, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Watvadvan's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Watvadvan's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Watvadvan in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never talk about bacteria.

5. Never go into pink rooms.