Tafyatspag is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, proud crab.

Tafyatspag created the Sun six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tafyatspag, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tafyatspag, she will ignore you.

Tafyatspag's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Tafyatspag's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear turquoise skirts.

2. Hide from black geese for they are unholy.

3. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a room before entering it.

4. Always wear blue.

5. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.