Sogsatsistettihugarm is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, idiotic hyena.

Sogsatsistettihugarm created snails seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Sogsatsistettihugarm, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Sogsatsistettihugarm, she will laugh at you.

Sogsatsistettihugarm's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Sogsatsistettihugarm's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear titanium on your body.

2. Do not hurt swans.

3. Never think about special relativity near badgers while wearing purple skirts and balancing five carbon spheres on your face.

4. Never feed lots of nuts to seals while wearing white shorts.

5. Respect your elders.