Wipontfunhad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, all-knowing wren.

Wipontfunhad created carbon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Wipontfunhad, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Wipontfunhad, it will destroy your home planet.

Wipontfunhad's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Wipontfunhad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silver sculpture of Wipontfunhad on top of all buildings.

2. Do not kill rats.

3. Hamsters are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never talk about enzymes.

5. Never look at black holes.