Cipwodsogpib Fonriptarpgof is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, conceited skunk.

Cipwodsogpib Fonriptarpgof created everything that exists nine million years ago.

If you believe in Cipwodsogpib Fonriptarpgof, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cipwodsogpib Fonriptarpgof, he will turn you into a rock.

Cipwodsogpib Fonriptarpgof's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Cipwodsogpib Fonriptarpgof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear brown clothing.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.