Yatcunkan is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, idiotic hydra.

Yatcunkan created a top quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Yatcunkan, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yatcunkan, he will laugh at you.

Yatcunkan's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Yatcunkan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not take Yatcunkan's name in vain.

4. Always look after injured sheep.

5. Eagles are not to be trusted.