Lagwonwikpakhog is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unsympathetic hare.

Lagwonwikpakhog created the planet Jupiter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagwonwikpakhog, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Lagwonwikpakhog, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Lagwonwikpakhog's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Lagwonwikpakhog's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Run away if three sharks approach from the north.

4. Do not eat limes.

5. Always help voles in need.