Sadwigyarl is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, resourceful eagle.

Sadwigyarl created bats seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sadwigyarl, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Sadwigyarl, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Sadwigyarl's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Sadwigyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no otters in a building before entering it.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Run away from green aardvarks, for they are unholy.

4. Never mention eagles.

5. Do not wear cyan clothing.