Xucpomkip is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, witless shark.

Xucpomkip created a top quark two years ago.

If you believe in Xucpomkip, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Xucpomkip, it will curse you with boils.

Xucpomkip's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Xucpomkip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Always look after injured whales.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always take life seriously.