Vollitflat is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, capable lobster.

Vollitflat created a quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vollitflat, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vollitflat, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Vollitflat's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Vollitflat's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Vollitflat must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never write about black holes.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.