Xenlakhad Spagbossbad is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, effective jellyfish.

Xenlakhad Spagbossbad created the Sun nine million years ago.

If you believe in Xenlakhad Spagbossbad, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Xenlakhad Spagbossbad, he will not invite you to parties.

Xenlakhad Spagbossbad's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Xenlakhad Spagbossbad's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine squirrels approach from the south.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never wear yellow shoes.

4. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Xenlakhad Spagbossbad in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never feed lots of melons to goats while wearing mauve shorts.