Vonkdumrutt is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, overgenerous fairy.

Vonkdumrutt created the Whirlpool Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkdumrutt, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vonkdumrutt, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Vonkdumrutt's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Vonkdumrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat capybaras with great respect.

2. Never think ill of sick swans.

3. Vonkdumrutt loves ducks, so they must be respected.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.