Tettilakbonk is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, compassionate gerbil.

Tettilakbonk created vertebrates two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tettilakbonk, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tettilakbonk, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tettilakbonk's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Tettilakbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. You must never eat gooseberries.

3. Never write about asteroids.

4. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.