Bumlaktim is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, vain dog.

Bumlaktim created vertebrates six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bumlaktim, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bumlaktim, he will curse you with boils.

Bumlaktim's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Bumlaktim's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear hats.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never wear purple dresses.