Geprutwod is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, omniscient grasshopper.

Geprutwod created a down quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Geprutwod, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Geprutwod, he will turn you into a frog.

Geprutwod's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Geprutwod's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not eat garlic.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never write about archaea.