Hanjipflis is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, awe-inspiring lion.

Hanjipflis created Europe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Hanjipflis, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hanjipflis, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Hanjipflis' most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Hanjipflis' Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three geese approach from the east.

2. Never write about gravity.

3. Rats are not to be trusted.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never jump in holy places.