Tofkampog is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, strong naga.

Tofkampog created the Andromeda Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Tofkampog, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tofkampog, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Tofkampog's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Tofkampog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

2. Run away from gray nematodes, for they are unholy.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not trade with those who eat beans.