Bidnuttkar is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, awesome donkey.

Bidnuttkar created the universe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bidnuttkar, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bidnuttkar, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Bidnuttkar's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Bidnuttkar's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed corn to seals while wearing fawn ear rings.

2. You must love Bidnuttkar.

3. Feed all hungry monkeys.

4. Do not keep four otters in a large pit.

5. Do not listen to music.