Hamtinced is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, slow fish.

Hamtinced created the Small Magellanic Cloud three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamtinced, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hamtinced, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Hamtinced's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Hamtinced's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not hurt whales.

3. Put Hamtinced first in all things.

4. Never feed lots of carrots to sharks while wearing orange shirts.

5. Hamtinced must be the most important thing in your life.