Batrowzog is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, duplicitous cow.

Batrowzog created a photon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Batrowzog, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Batrowzog, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Batrowzog's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Batrowzog's Holy Commandments

1. Always help swans in need.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Batrowzog.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never think about planets.