Yakyattlak Vonlendin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, bad-tempered crocodile.

Yakyattlak Vonlendin created the cosmos eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yakyattlak Vonlendin, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Yakyattlak Vonlendin, he will turn you into a worm.

Yakyattlak Vonlendin's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Yakyattlak Vonlendin's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat rats with great respect.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Porpoises are not to be trusted.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not sing in public.