Sigfutjop is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, bad-tempered mongoose.

Sigfutjop created an up quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Sigfutjop, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Sigfutjop, she will try to impress you with trees.

Sigfutjop's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Sigfutjop's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never talk about eukaryotes.

3. Hide from pink ducks for they are unholy.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.

5. Never go into cyan rooms.