Tomwapmotbug is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, unfair lizard.

Tomwapmotbug created viruses nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tomwapmotbug, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tomwapmotbug, it will turn you into a duck.

Tomwapmotbug's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Tomwapmotbug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never think ill of sick squirrels.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.

5. Never write about solid mechanics.