Barnarttag is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, self-assured pig.

Barnarttag created a photon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Barnarttag, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Barnarttag, he will send minions to preach to you.

Barnarttag's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Barnarttag's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if eight doves approach from the north.

2. Never eat oranges.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Retreat if five snakes approach from the west.

5. Do not speak about garlic.