Zancat is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, omniscient hamster.

Zancat created oxygen eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zancat, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Zancat, he will strike you with lightening.

Zancat's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Zancat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics near badgers while wearing indigo scarves and balancing five silicon spheres on your legs.

2. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not take Zancat's name in vain.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.