Jam Kipflislop is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, egotistical goblin.

Jam Kipflislop created viruses two billion years ago.

If you believe in Jam Kipflislop, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jam Kipflislop, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Jam Kipflislop's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Jam Kipflislop's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured gulls.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never eat coconuts.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always obey Jam Kipflislop's priests.