Dissbastpin is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, temperamental slug.

Dissbastpin created the planet Earth twelve years ago.

If you believe in Dissbastpin, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dissbastpin, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Dissbastpin's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Dissbastpin's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never go into red rooms.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. You must never eat lentils.

5. Fast once a month.