Panpigtun Omtcemyog is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, narcissistic manatee.

Panpigtun Omtcemyog created the planet Jupiter twelve years ago.

If you believe in Panpigtun Omtcemyog, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Panpigtun Omtcemyog, it will be very sad.

Panpigtun Omtcemyog's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Panpigtun Omtcemyog's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Panpigtun Omtcemyog.

2. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not hurt goats.

5. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.