Rapjapnar is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, prudent crow.

Rapjapnar created a quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Rapjapnar, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Rapjapnar, she will turn you into a rat.

Rapjapnar's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Rapjapnar's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Rapjapnar.

2. Worship no other gods but Rapjapnar.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.