Fumjanbest is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, unselfish goose.

Fumjanbest created Africa eight million years ago.

If you believe in Fumjanbest, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Fumjanbest, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Fumjanbest's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Fumjanbest's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never think about dark energy near cats while wearing brown hats and balancing seven silver spheres on your head.

3. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Always make sure there are no foxes in a room before entering it.