Satgamlim is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, idiotic goblin.

Satgamlim created Mount Everest two years ago.

If you believe in Satgamlim, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Satgamlim, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Satgamlim's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Satgamlim's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Satgamlim five times a day.

2. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always make sure there are no eagles in a building before entering it.

4. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always help sick geese.